Talent gets a player noticed; how they handle pressure, feedback and setbacks shapes how they keep developing. The mental side of soccer is not a soft extra. Here is what the research says, for players and for the parents on the sideline.

Fun keeps players in the game

Children name fun as the main reason they play organized sport, and its absence as the top reason they drop out. That is why one research team worked with youth soccer players, coaches and parents to map 81 specific things that make the game fun, and a follow-up found players' fun priorities were strikingly similar whatever their sex, age or level. A 2018 Aspen Institute survey of 1,032 US parents found children quit a sport after under three years on average, most by age 11, and the most common reason (36% of the time) was that they stopped enjoying it or lost interest.

The mental skills coaches notice

  • Coachability: treating feedback as information and trying it in the next session.
  • Composure: making the simple decision when tired or under pressure.
  • Response to mistakes: what you do in the next action after an error.
  • Conduct: the NCAA tells recruits to behave well at school, at practices and games, at home, in the community and online.

Researchers describe psychological characteristics like these as playing a key role in whether young athletes realize their potential, and recommend developing them from a young age. A simple start is to set one process goal before every session, something you control, like scanning before each pass. Try one process goal before training, a drill from Football Reach, our UK sister site.

A young soccer player standing at the edge of a suburban soccer field at dawn with a ball under his arm
Enjoyment is what keeps young players coming back to practice.

Handling setbacks

Getting cut, benched or injured is common in a sport where most high school players never play in college (see the honest odds). Separate the result from your worth: write down what you can control, ask the coach for one specific thing to improve, and set a date to review it. If a setback is really about growth timing, read about late developers.

Parents on the sideline

In interviews with 36 girls with an average age of 13.5, researchers found players wanted different things from parents at different times: help preparing before games, support and encouragement during them, and feedback afterward. In the Aspen survey, parents rated coaches as the biggest source of pressure their children feel. Some simple habits:

  • Let the coach coach. Encourage from the sideline rather than giving instructions.
  • Praise effort and choices, not just goals and wins.
  • Keep the ride home calm. Ask what they enjoyed before talking about what went wrong.
  • Watch for burnout. AAP doctors describe it as no longer feeling a sense of fun and accomplishment in playing or practicing.

Development is a long game, and the players who keep enjoying it keep learning. For an honest, pressure-free read on where you stand, take the free development assessment - it shows which parts of your game to work on next and does not predict outcomes.

If you or a young player are struggling, talk to your doctor or a school counselor. In the US you can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, free and confidential, 24/7.

Sources: Visek et al., 2015; Visek et al., 2020; Aspen Institute Project Play; Edwards et al., 2023; Laureys et al., 2021; Knight et al., 2011; AAP on burnout; NCAA college-bound guide; 988 Lifeline.

Frequently asked questions

Why do kids quit soccer?

In a 2018 Aspen Institute survey of US parents, the most common reason a child quit a sport (36% of the time) was that they stopped enjoying it or lost interest. Researchers also report that children name a lack of fun as the top reason they drop out of organized sport.

How should parents behave on the soccer sideline?

In one study, young female athletes wanted help preparing before games, support and encouragement during them, and feedback afterward. In practice, that means encouraging rather than coaching from the sideline and keeping post-game talk calm.

How can a young soccer player build mental toughness?

Treat feedback as information, set process goals you control, and focus on your next action after a mistake. Researchers describe psychological characteristics like these as a key part of realizing potential and recommend developing them from a young age.

Curious where you actually stand? Soccer Reach turns your level, age and honest self-assessment into a free Player Development Score, with the parts of your game to work on next.

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